Sacred Standers

Sacred Standers is a supportive community for those who are separated, divorced, or in a marriage crisis who are discerning a call to stand for the reconciliation of their marriage.

• Who we are

• What does it mean to be a "stander"?

• How we got here

• How we support standers

• How you can join Sacred Standers

We are a community of Catholic and Protestant believers who are standing in the gap for all marriages – specifically our own, or the marriage of an immediate family member. To fulfill our mission, we work together to support and encourage standers from any background, race, creed or color. One does not have to be Christian to join our group but must accept that all the principles taught, professed and supported in this group are unapologetically based on Christ’s teachings and the Christian faith. 

We respect each other's religious beliefs and do not try to convert one another to other faiths, sects, denominations, or theology. We encourage everyone to share theological perspectives without denying the perspectives of others. We need this to be recognized as a safe space for everyone to share, and confidentiality is critical. Nothing shared within this group is to be shared outside the group without explicit permission.

A Stander is one who’s standing for the reconciliation or restoration of a lost beloved to God and to us. Whether it's a spouse who has walked away from the marriage, a son or daughter who has turned from their faith and gone down a dark path, or even a friend who is mired in addiction. The one who is praying for them, believing for them and trusting God is the Stander. 

In our group, we are all standing in the gap for our spouses. We believe, regardless of why they've left us, that God can and will restore them first to Himself and then to our marriage. We are fighting in the spirit realm for their salvation and their return to the Father knowing that once they do, our marriages can be resurrected. Standing, therefore, means partnering with God to fight for our spouses no matter how long it takes or hard it gets. It also means knowing that as we surrender, trust God, and lean into His understanding, He will guide us so we don't break while we wait on His perfect timing, plan, and will. 

For more details, please read Dr. Christine Bacon's article on being a Stander. It has many useful tips and scriptural reminders on how to stand. Click Here to read the full article. 

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If you feel that God has called you to stand for your marriage, our group is here for you. Please read on and consider submitting a New Member Request.

When we first made our vows, none of us ever thought our marriages would ever be in trouble. We believed that "til death do us part" was real and we wouldn't ever have to face this world alone. We believed our spouses would always stand beside us and fight for our marriage, our children, and our families. Then one day, the enemy struck and our lives were never the same. 

There are moments in life that define us. Moments when we know that from this point on, it all changes. Some of those moments are blessings and welcomed with open hearts and open arms- the birth of a child, landing your dream job, meeting and marrying "the one".... 

And then there are moments you wish never happened- losing a loved one, losing your dream job, being told your spouse no longer loves you and wants a divorce... or finding out they are in an affair, that they are an addict... and now you find yourself living in a nightmare.

Most of us here found ourselves in one of those unfortunate situations, facing betrayal by the partner we deeply trusted.  After the initial shock, we began to see the destructive deficiencies in the world's prescription of "moving on".  What God has joined together truly cannot be separated and attempting to do so creates terrible consequences to everybody involved- not just to the abandoned spouse but to the prodigal, as well- and especially to our children.  Perceiving that this is the work of the enemy, we resolved to not let our families be torn apart without a fight, but rather to stand for our families, to stand for the covenant we swore an oath to, and to stand for the reconciliation of our marriages.

Some members are themselves former prodigals who may have left the marriage initially, but found repentance and are now seeking reconciliation.  Some of our members stand in support of family members who may be in one of these situations.

If you found this page or were directed here, we're guessing you are dealing with a spouse who no longer wants to be in your marriage.  If that's the case, we want you to know that there is hope. God loves marriage and hates divorce. God is for you and your marriage. God wants your marriage to succeed, and there is grace and supernatural strength to empower you to fight this battle.

Sacred Standers exists to foster a supportive community where we can draw strength from one another, be encouraged by the work God is doing in our midst, and offer solidarity in the unique struggles we face on this journey.  Standing for reconciliation in a world that is seemingly against this is often not easy, but you don't have to fight this battle alone!  Sacred Standers can help you stand strong as you fight for your marriage and for your spouse's reconciliation with God. 

Sacred Standers invites you to join a confidential networked community of fellow standers supporting one another.  We provide access to a group messaging app (Mighty) to share posts of encouragement, ask questions, and comment and message other members for support.  We also place each member in a smaller group of 5-10 people where you can communicate through the video messaging app Marco Polo.  This is a great way to get connected to a close circle of standers, share trials and triumphs, pray together, and share wisdom together in a more personal circle of standers.

Christine also hosts a monthly zoom call where we have fantastic guest speakers - reconciled former standers, authors and experts on standing and marriage who share their testimonies and wisdom on the standing process.  You will learn so much from these meetings that will strengthen your spirit and give you knowledge and insight into your circumstances.

If you are interested in joining in Sacred Standers' supportive community click: Join Sacred Standers for more information.